Apologies, as I have neglected this blog for a little while in all the craziness that has been life of late; degree, masters, makaton, starting supply teaching, arguments with electricity providers, broken showers… I had intended to have a cool, witty title for this post but my brain is still jumping up and down screaming, “I got the job? I got the job! I got the job!” So I guess I may as well stick to the point. Whilst I continue to pinch my self with disbelief!
It was during a day of supply teaching last week that I first heard I had been short listed and invited to interview. This inevitably lead to much panic over what lesson I was going to do? What I would say? Wear? Who else would be going? How many? What were the children like? And the million other questions that flew through the minds of my close family and myself. As the week went on and my lesson was prepared, gradually I became much more confident about the situation and agreed with everyone around me that I’d done very well just to get an interview from my first application and it would, regardless of outcome, all contribute to interview experience. I’d know much more about what to expect the next time around. And the next.
Monday night was a strange one. I had done my last day of teaching and study research at my placement school and had left there full of self confidence and good luck wishes. The drive back to my home town was a confident one, a smile across my face, music loud and enjoying the sunshine. I knew I was capable of this, I could do it. I just had to prove that. Yet on Monday evening the nerves began to kick in. I was there, I would know the outcome in less than 24 hours time, it would have been and gone. Reality!
Honestly, Tuesday morning was the most nerve wrecking, tense, sweaty-palmed morning of my life! Forget butterflies, it was like having a heard of elephants stomp around my stomach! Little did I know that feeling was only going to get worse once it was over. The most painstaking part of it all.. Waiting for THAT potentially life changing phone call.
The lesson had gone well, I genuinely enjoyed it and felt the children had too. The lesson reflection had been difficult, only having worked with the children for 30mins, but I got some key points down. However the interview itself I wasn’t so happy about. I had told myself whatever happened, I’d be happy as long as I’d tried my best. But nerves had got the better of me! I had rambled on, repeated myself, lost my train of thought, struggled for an answer on the particularly difficult Question… I drove away from the school mentally listing things I had intended to say, yet forgotten. Surely I had blown my chance? Surely I was not specific enough?
Knowing interviews were taking place all day I was on constant clock watch, wondering what was going on now. There were two jobs and at least 6 candidates, but possibly up to ten. I met my brother and mum for lunch, but felt too sick to enjoy my food (definitely not like me!). Spending the afternoon wandering around town I would momentarily forget, then see something that reminded me of school and dive deep into a pit of panic and doubt again. I bought two new tops for school. Would I be wearing them in September at that school? Would I be wearing them somewhere else? Having now met some of the children and staff and seen inside the school I wanted it so much more!
As five o’clock neared, the time they had said to expect the phone call from, I increased the time checks. Mentally rehearsed my not-too-disappointed, “well thank you for the opportunity”. It wasn’t yet five. I helped my mum load the food shopping into the carrier bags. As she paid, I grabbed my phone for another time check, surely not long now? I had a missed call. Not the school. But in the area? Was it? Could it be? Surely not? But, who else?
Shaking with fear and anticipation, I finally got an answer on the third attempted call. I was put through to one of the governors whom had been in the interview that morning. She checked my name. She didn’t know who she was speaking to? Clearly she had a list of the “sorry but no”s then? Her voice contained no positive hint. I prepared myself for that no. Yet the words I heard, “we would like to offer you a twelve month temporary contract with year 4.”
YES! I had done it! Me!! An actual teacher, with my own class. She asked would I like to accept. Would I like to accept? I don’t know as I’ve been so certain of accepting anything in my life and definitely failed to keep my cool as I replied down the phone, the largest grin across my face, a teary mother stood next to me trying to fit the pieces of a half heard conversation together. What followed that phone conversation is a moment I shall remember for the rest of my life. And no doubt shall the people around us. As, in the middle of Tesco car park my mother and I had the biggest, most emotionally and excited jumping hug thing I have ever seen. Squeals, screams, hugs, jumps, even the odd tear. The works! I can only imagine how many peculiar looks we received, but we didn’t care. I’d finally done it. I’d got the answer I needed for that next big leap along my journey.